PARENTING DISCIPLINE - How To Discipline Children

There is a lot of debate these days about parenting discipline and whether it includes spanking children. Many parents are confused about how to discipline children as they want to do the best for their kids.

Many parents resist the idea of discipline, perhaps because it conjures up images of their childhood spankings. Others feel that they don't wish to enforce boundaries and want to be a friend to their children instead.

Because of issues around child abuse, society has opted to go in the opposite direction to discipline. So, what we have now, is a generation of youngsters who are unable to accept discipline (teaching) from anybody.

Essentially, what this means, is that we have a virtually fatherless or illegitimate generation with little self government.

These youngsters have little self respect, hence, the drinking, drug taking and other anti social behaviors. They also have little respect for others often even trying to intimidate others.

This is the fruit of what happens when parents and carers give up their authority as parents. We essentially give up our authority to our kids and they end up trying to parent us.

Children do not have the maturity, wisdom and self government to carry this authority and so, everything becomes chaotic, and out of control.

The childrens health encyclopedia defines discipline as:

The term "discipline" comes from the Latin word "disciplinare," which means "to teach." Many people, however, associate the word with punishment, which falls short of the full meaning of the word. Discipline, properly practiced, uses a multifaceted approach, including models, rewards, and punishments that teach and reinforce desired behavior. Through discipline, children are able to learn self-control, self-direction, competence, and a sense of caring.

The Bible says:

  • Prov 22:6-7
  • 6 Train a child in the way he should go,
  • and when he is old he will not turn from it.

WHY PARENTING DISCIPLINE?

So why the need to discipline or teach? Babies are born with no internal government. They do not know what is right or wrong. They are only interested in getting their needs met as is rightly so.

Babies need their adult carers to provide for their needs and to keep them safe. In providing boundaries for your young child you help them to feel loved and secure.

The need for discipline is never more obvious than when you see a toddler in full tantrum mode By our modelling behaviors our children learn about self control, and having respect for others.

HOW TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN

Through parenting discipline we model the behaviors we want to see in our children. We teach our children how to be empathetic towards others, and to have respect for themselves and others.

Our children learn that their are natural consequences to actions whether right or wrong. We discipline by providing firm, consistent limitations and boundaries. We model self discipline(internal government)in our own lives.

SPANKING CHILDREN - right or wrong?

There is much strong debate about this. Sadly what appears to have happened is that in an attempt to rule out abuse to children, society has gone to far in the other direction. I believe that the real problem around smacking children, is, that it is generally carried out when perhaps the parents are angry and lash out without control.

PARENTING STYLES

Child discipline in your home is dependent on your parenting style. Warm, responsive parents may be authoritative and set clear limits and boundaries for their children.

Permissive parents are also warm and responsive but, don't set boundaries and prefer to be friends with their children

Warm, responsive parenting with boundaries and limits, produce adults who:

  • feel loved
  • have self esteem
  • are confident
  • have respect for, and value, others and themselves
  • have internal government

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